At first I was worried, then the worry turned to fear, and then my fear turned to being mad. I was mad at God. There, I admit it. I’m not proud of it by no means, but I was. This summer my “Wall of Faith” started to crumble. My “Wall of Faith” felt like it was falling down around me.
I was so consumed with trying to take care of my Mom and Dad, that at times, it was even hard to pray. I’ll be honest with you…I really didn’t know how to. There were so many issues that were having to be dealt with, that nothing was coming out of my mouth in the form of a prayer. It was like a mental block, words were not forming, and my thoughts were not clear. And even though I really couldn’t pray, I knew deep within my heart what God’s word had to say about that…
“God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.” Romans 8:26-27 MSG
Have you ever been at that point in your life? Where you felt as though your “Wall of Faith” was crumbling? All that you knew of God and His mercy seemed so far away?
I cried out to Him wondering if He was even listening to my prayers! I knew God was good. I knew all about His grace and mercy, but why wasn’t He listening to me now? Why wasn’t He helping us find a place for my Mother? He knew that we could not take care of her at home anymore. I felt numb at times when I prayed, and often thought, “Does it really matter if I pray any more?”
I would go a few days with these thoughts, “Doesn’t He know that Mom has Dementia?….and “Doesn’t He know how bad Dad is with all of his chronic health problems?” Then in my shame, I confessed to my Papa God how wrong those thoughts were and asked for forgiveness.
Yes, He knew what was going on with my Mom and Dad. And He knows now as I write this. The enemy found cracks in my “Wall of Faith”, and was trying every way to destroy it.
Nehemiah was not alone in rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. When he told the people how God was supporting him and how the king was backing him up, this was their reply, “We’re with you. Let’s get started.” They rolled up their sleeves, ready for the good work. [Nehemiah Chapter 2:18 MSG]
While the walls were being rebuilt, the enemy came in the form of Non-Jewish locals, taunting them with insults at first. Nehemiah prayed, and stood his ground as the walls continued to keep going up. Furious with the progress, “They put their heads together and decided to fight against Jerusalem and create as much trouble as they could. We (Nehemiah and friends) countered with prayer to our God and set a round-the-clock guard against them.” [Chapter 4:7-9]
Nehemiah had words of encouragement, “Don’t be afraid of them. Put your minds on the Master, great and awesome.” Our enemies learned that we knew all about their plan and that God frustrated them. [verses 14-15]
Now this is what I found interesting…”The common laborers held a tool in one hand and a spear in the other. Each of the builders had a sword strapped to his side as he worked. I kept the trumpeter at my side to sound the alert…When you hear the trumpet call, join us there; our God will fight for us.” [verses 18,20]
“The wall was finished….it had taken 52 days. When all our enemies heard the news and all the surrounding nations saw it, our enemies totally lost their nerve. They knew that God was behind the work.” [Chapter 6:15-16]
This wall that Nehemiah was rebuilding was not going to crumble. Why? Because, God was behind the work! The common laborers were ready for the enemy!
Our “Wall of Faith” is much like that of the walls that Nehemiah rebuilt. When the enemy tries to penetrate our wall with his schemes, we need to put our mind on the Master, great and awesome, and we need to be ready…
“God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way.” Ephesians 6:10-11 MSG
Putting our mind on the Master, great and awesome is a must in times of trouble! Nehemiah and the laborers were ready to fight the enemy.
Oh God! How great and awesome in power you are! When I am weak, you are strong. When my “Wall of Faith” starts to crumble, help me to be ready, help me rebuild it, and stand strong against the enemy. Fight for me God as I put my trust in You! ~ Amen
May the Lord bless you and keep you on your journey ~ Beth