I stopped by my Mom and Dad’s last night before I went on to do the dreaded chore of grocery shopping. This made for a very long day, as I had just left from getting my hair cut. Work, hair cut, Mom & Dad’s then groceries…Whew!
As soon as I walked into their house I knew that my Mom was not having a good day. My Dad was at the table eating and my Mom peered out from around the end of the hallway. I asked what she was doing and she said, “I didn’t know everyone I’ve ever known is already dead!” Walking back into the den where my Dad and I were, she continued…”Everybody I know is dead!”
My Mom has dementia, and my poor little Dad just doesn’t know how to deal with it sometimes. He doesn’t want to “lie” to her when she starts asking for her parents so he tells her that they have gone on to a better place. He doesn’t realize that this upsets her.
It’s so heartbreaking to see my Mom this way. I knew the day would come when our family would have to face the possibility that my Dad may not be able to care for her much longer. I know that day is fast approaching.
Life is hard, but God is good! I stand on this assurance and hang onto it with everything in me.
We can face trials and challenges with our eyes open, to seek God’s face, or eyes shut and run away. Hearts open, to receive his mercy and grace, or hearts closed and unyielding, missing his blessings. Hands open, for his grip of strength, or hands closed, to do it ourselves.
“Anyone who meets a testing challenge head-on and manages to stick it out is mighty fortunate. For such persons loyally in love with God, the reward is life and more life.” James 1:12 MSG
It is so hard to know how to handle certain situations with my Mom. My brother and I both agree that telling her that her parents are already dead does not help her, but only agitates her more.
One night, not too long ago, my Dad called and wanted me to talk to my Mom because she was so inconsolable. He had told her that her Mom and Dad had “gone on” to a better place. She got on the phone and was really upset. She figured out the better place was heaven, so she proceeded to ask me, “Have my Mom and Dad died? I really didn’t know what to say, so she asked again. I tried to direct the conversation to something else, but nothing doing, this was to be addressed!
After several times of her asking me the same question, I finally said, “Your Mom and Dad are in Miami” I couldn’t help it, it just popped right out of my mouth! Here my sweet Dad doesn’t want to lie to my Mom, and yet I have fibbed!
“Miami?”, my Mom asks. I continued with, “Yeah, don’t you remember going to Miami with your Mom and Dad growing up?…You stayed with family and friends when you did.” She paused and said, “Yes I do, I remember!” And, they really did. This seemed to calm her down, and it finally gave her some much-needed peace.
I can’t help but chuckle about it when I tell someone what I did. We share this laughter together. Laughter is good for the soul!
We have to laugh at some of the things that take place. Day before yesterday when I stopped by their house, my Dad told me what had happened that day! My Dad’s car keys and lawn mower keys were missing, needless to say he was pretty upset. The story my Mom gave him, was that two people came into their house and got his keys! She had gotten them and dropped them down into a basket of fruit, but thank goodness he found them. We can’t help but laugh about this also. Even my Dad had to laughed when it was all over.
We can shed many tears throughout our lifetime. There is truly a time for everything.
“There is a time for everything , and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die…a time to weep and a time to laugh.” Ecclesiastes 3:1,4 NIV
This season of my life is hard, but God is good!
“Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.” Psalm 30:5 NLT
I’m thinking there really may be a street in heaven named “Miami.”