Over a year ago God in his grace and mercy woke me from a stupor.
And I thank Him that he did! I had gotten to a place in my life that I felt like a sloth, moving in and out from one day to another. A sloth like existence. I had become comfortable in this way of life. When I looked up the word sloth, surprisingly enough Wikipedia had a good definition: Sloth is defined as spiritual or emotional apathy, neglecting what God has spoken, and being physically and emotionally inactive.
This was pretty much me in a nutshell. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I went to church, sang, read my bible, prayed. I was doing all the things I had always done just about all my life. But somewhere along the way I believed this huge lie someone tossed out to me and one day I caught it.
Satan has a way of making us think that the mundane life that we (think we) live will continue to be mundane and there is nothing we can do about it. He can feed you a lie that your everyday ordinary life doesn’t count, or amount to much. He can make you think the world as we know it excepts those who are comfortable in a zombie-sloth-like existence. That’s how he wants us to live. He knows if we get to this state of living, our eyes slowly turn away from God. No one around us is the wiser, knowing that we have gotten our selves to this place in life. How could they know? We are still going through the motions as if nothing has happened.
I felt the gentle tug on my heart to get serious and alone with God. He knew I had gotten myself to this place in my life and He was standing there with arms wide open saying, “Rest in me.” I’ve always used some sort of “devotional” to point me in scripture. Not this time. With a journal, pen and God’s word, I began seeking his face. He wanted me to dig into his word and seek truth for myself. My heart smiles even now as I think of the first time I tried this. I had tried journaling many times before. I would buy the beautiful little books to write my words. This lasted a few months at a time at the most. Soon weariness would set it, and lack of time and commitment were my nemeses’. I would put forth a pretty good effort for a while, but each time I convinced myself, “this just wasn’t for me.”
Crying out one day in desperation, I told my Papa God I had enough and that I was truly at the end of my rope! I was led to the book of Romans. This is where he wanted me to start on my journey with him. His son Jesus sweetly took me by the hand and led me down the beautiful pathways of His word. He walked me down the path, and sometimes he wanted me to stop and sit, as if sitting on a beautiful large stone on the side of the path. We both sat there, my friend Jesus and I. He showed me things in his Father’s word that flooded my soul and blessed my heart.
I’m not sure what I do and have done is really journaling. I just write how God encourages me, whether it’s just in one word, or a verse or several verses from his word.
I got to chapter 12 in Romans, then suddenly it was as if God in his beautiful grace, took a highlighter and gave me, not only what I thought was my verse(s) for the year, but for my life.
“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life ~ your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life ~ and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” Romans 12: 1-2 MSG
My Papa God heard my cry. Praying had become routine. Reading my bible had become routine. Singing about God in his goodness had become routine. Church had become routine. I caught the lie the enemy had thrown my way which had evolved over a long period of time.
When I started searching for myself I found the truth. Which led to a battle in the heavenly realm, where the lie was shot down, trampled on, thrown out and dissolved by God of the Angel Armies!
You might be thinking, living a sloth like existence doesn’t sound like such a big deal. It was to me. It was such a big deal that God did not want me to live this way anymore. He doesn’t want any of us to live this way. He has so much more for us! I’m not saying that my whole life has been in this suspended state. This happened over a period of time. It slowly but surely became my life, so much so that I had become miserably comfortable.
Oh Papa God may I never find myself there again. I thank you for my everyday ordinary life, just as I am I place it before you as an offering.